The outside variables of my life suggest a privileged and comfortable life. However, addiction plagued my family and created a turbulent road for my siblings and me. My father was a gambling addict, leaving every day unpredictable and anxiety ridden. This, coupled with other outside traumas, left me feeling out of place and alone.
At twelve years old drugs and alcohol offered me a solution to these feelings of despair. They offered me temporary solace from my suffering. However, this respite was short lived. After years of heavy heroin addiction I found myself homeless, constantly circulating jails and institutions, isolated from anyone who loved me, and running out of any will to live.
I tried numerous geographical cures but kept finding myself in the same pit of despair, sleeping in my car and losing all hope. Finally, one day I was literally too beat up to continue functioning. I was beat so badly I could barely move. I crawled to the front door of my mother’s home and begged her for help.
My road to recovery was long and messy. I had to cope with years of trauma upon getting sober that sometimes felt too much to bear. I had to rebuild every relationship with my family. I had to learn simple life skills such as grocery shopping, doing laundry, maintaining a clean room. I learned how to become a sister, daughter, employee, student, and friend.
My life today was worth every ounce of suffering. I have a love and a freedom I never knew possible for myself. I have friends that intend to maintain for a lifetime. I have a sense of purpose and confidence in my ability to achieve things beyond my wildest dreams.